Witchcraft VII: Judgement Hour
Man, it has taken me forever to get around to this. I had myself a somewhat of a witchcraft Marathon last year thanks to my new Amazon Prime account, but it all came to a stop after Witchcraft VI because amazon does not have Witchcraft VII. It’s odd cause they have VIII but not VII. I could not even find a hard copy on DVD or Blu Ray. Does not seem to be on Netflix, either. So I gave YouTube a try and they had a weak copy with Portuguese subtitles on it. I should keep that in mind as I write this post that the movie may not be as shitty as the copy I’m watching it from would suggest.
Witchcraft VII continues the adventures of Will Spanner. In the first movie he was conceived to be the Antichrist for a Witches cult. In the second movie he grew up to be a normal teenager, hell bent on not becoming Satan’s puppet, and by the third movie, he was a lawyer that uses his reason for being born to focus on cases that seem to revolve around the occult or the supernatural.
In this case, I find the witchcraft movies to be very interesting. It’s a cool concept of a lawyer who deals in supernatural cases. I started watching these movies because they have the Troma label on them (Although I notice that this movie did not open with the Troma logo). It does not feel like a Troma film franchise and yet the fact that it got up to seven movies makes me assume it was one of their more successful ones.
As the film series progressed they began looking more and more like a soft-core porno made for the old Skinnemax Cinneamax days. Though I like the story of Will Spanner that goes through every movie, it’s overall mediocre. The first movie had the best story and from there on the script functions only to get the movie made and nothing more. The film production itself on these movies is pretty mundane too. Every movie is pretty by the numbers and the production does not get better (or worse) like sequels in a film franchise usually do.
However, all is definitely not lost, for it seems that rather than pay more money every movie for a decent script and a better quality of production, they use the money to get better nudity. Every time a new sequel comes out the nudity gets better and better. It seems to be the thing. The first movie had no nudity in it, the second has one nude scene. The third movie really steps up the game from then and I thought to myself they could not possible top the nude scenes from number 3. I have a feeling that The producers of the film series thought the same, which is why they hired B-movie legend, Julie Strain, to do the nude shots for Witchcraft IV, in hopes that would top the excellent quantity of boobage in Witchcraft III (It was really good, the only trivia about the movie on IMDB is about the lead actress getting paid 1,500, which was suppose to be a mouths pay, but she only worked ten days (well worth it).
From here on out, the Witchcraft series really starts to look like soft-core porno films. The nudity does not necessarily get better, but they come with a lot of sex scenes now. The humping and gyrating takes the series to a new level, and continues the concept that they only place were this series actually progresses in anyway is with the concept that sex will sell it.
Now we are at Witchcraft VII, and it already knows what the audience wants. The movie starts out with a juicy sex scene, and it does not take long for a shower scene to happen followed by another sex scene. I did not count, but I’m seeing a large amount of sex scenes that come constantly. They know how to bring the bread and circus.
Another note in the witchcraft series the type of magic that they deal with. Like the name sake the 1st Witchcraft movie was about Witchcraft and so was the second, but the third and forth films seem to be about specifically voodoo or elements of that act as the magical backdrop. Five and Six became a return to the occult.
Now we come to number seven, which somewhat changes the magical genre again, as this time Will Spanner goes up against vampires, particularly one that seems to be fucking and sucking women all over town. A bit different than the other films, but in mythical terms, a powerful vampire can be magical. Although, that’s not really the case here. The antagonist seems to be a man who just needs blood to live and prefers to get it after sex with women, but still only Will has the insight to know what’s going on and to stop it. the vampire does have some big plans to control some blood banks around the city that will keep him fed and most likely give him control over other bloodsuckers.
Witchcraft VII, does have a pretty mediocre action finale that does put it a little above all the others when it comes to production quality, but still, it’s all about the nude scenes that keeps this film series progressing in the right direction.
